Craving Love (Secret Love #1)

  CRAVING LOVE

  KAT T. MASEN

  Kat T. Masen

  Craving Love

  An Age Gap Romance

  The Secret Love Series Book 1

  Copyright 2022 Kat T. Masen

  All Rights Reserved

  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to real events, real people, and real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, organizations or places is entirely coincidental.

  All rights are reserved. This book is intended for the purchaser of this book ONLY. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the express written permission of the author. All songs, song titles, and lyrics contained in this book are the property of the respective songwriters and copyright holders.

  Disclaimer: The material in this book contains graphic language and sexual content and is intended for mature audiences, ages 18 and older.

  ISBN: 9798364392572

  Editing by More Than Words Copyediting and Proofreading

  Cover design by The Book Cover Boutique

  Cover Image Copyright 2022

  First Edition 2022

  All Rights Reserved

  CONTENTS

  Note To Reader

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Craving Us

  Also by Kat T. Masen

  Connect with me online

  About the Author

  NOTE TO READER

  Craving Love is the first book in The Secret Love Series.

  This book is best read after The Dark Love or Forbidden Love Series.

  Some of the characters in this book are from previous works. To best understand the dynamics of the Edwards family, it’s highly recommended to begin with Chasing Love.

  However, Alexa’s story is untold.

  You can still enjoy this as a standalone, bearing in mind her family has quite the history.

  Love triangles, secret pregnancies, forbidden romances…

  just the usual plots I’m known to write.

  ONE

  “I’m guessing Daddy didn’t see you leaving the house like this?”

  A sigh escapes me. Another party, another night of faking it with people I don’t particularly like. All because I’m supposed to be a team player—stay social so people will like me.

  Cole grabs my hand as we enter the crowded house for Mikayla’s eighteenth birthday party. Considering it’s a school night, everyone from senior year is here. Apparently, the reason behind the Thursday night party is because Mikayla’s parents are taking her to Europe tomorrow. If only we all had such relaxed parents.

  “He didn’t see me,” I say over the loud music. “I left before he came home.”

  Cole leans in, brushing his lips against my ear. “I want to fuck you in this dress.”

  I force a fake smile as we walk into the large living room, pretending the compliment makes me happy. Cole looks handsome tonight, dressed in a white tee with a gold chain around his neck. His white Nike sneakers are brand new, standing out against his dark denim jeans. He’s always been a great dresser, and his sneaker collection is next level. Cole will drop a lot of money on shoes especially if they’re rare. Luckily his parents support his expensive habit and don’t mind spoiling him.

  He runs his hand through his black hair, nodding to greet people but then stops and says hello to his friends. Most of them are from the football team, jocks just like him.

  Hanging out with the boys can get tedious since all they talk about is chicks they want to screw. Half the girls wouldn’t touch these guys for the life of them. The newest challenge they set upon themselves is trying to take the virginity of some new girl. All I know is that she’s quiet and keeps to herself. She does come across as nerdy with her thick black glasses and weird obsession with wearing plaid, but nevertheless, his friends have no chance.

  Five minutes into hanging around the guys, and I’m already bored. This always happens so it doesn’t surprise me anymore. I excuse myself to walk around, saying hello to a few friends before making my way outside to the pool. I’m surprised by how many people are in the water and not so surprised when I see a guy throwing up on the side.

  It’s a warm enough night to swim. I’m not exactly dressed for it, already pushing my limits with the dress I wear. It dawned on me a pair of jeans would have been much more comfortable, but I wanted to prove a point to myself.

  Life can go back to normal.

  I can move on.

  It’s been months.

  Near the outdoor grill is a table with drinks. It’s obvious the punch is spiked, which is why it’s popular, and people keep helping themselves. I contemplate having a drink, but my mood doesn’t call for it. The last time I drank didn’t end well. I vomited in Cole’s car, and he had to clean me up. He tried his best, but then called Ava to come help since my dress was ruined, and I wasn’t able to stay awake. She made up some lie to my parents about staying over at her place, ultimately saving me.

  A set of arms wrap around my waist as the familiar cologne lingers in the air. My chest rises, then falls, remembering all the good times we have had over the last year since we started dating.

  It wasn’t always bad, or maybe I mean to say—I wasn’t always like this.

  “Let’s go upstairs,” Cole suggests with a flirtatious tone. “I want you alone.”

  There is only so much I can say to distract him, but I try anyway.

  “There are a lot of people. I’m sure the rooms are occupied.”

  He leans in to whisper, “There’s a secret room no one knows about.”

  My eyes wander to the pink-colored punch floating in the large bowl. With a deep breath, I pour myself a cup and drink it in one go. A rasp escapes me, the alcohol content stronger than anticipated. It’s so bad, I’m pretty sure there’s more than one type mixed in here.

  Cole laughs, then does the same. Unlike me, he holds his drinks much better.

  Without another word, Cole grabs my hand and leads me to a flight of stairs near the kitchen. The house is big, though not as big as mine, and I have no clue where he is taking me.

  Down the long hallway, there are several doors, but Cole opens the one all the way at the end. The room itself appears to be a guest room. Its furnishings are minimal, with a king-size bed being the room’s focus.

  It feels like déjà vu.

  The night when my life changed, our lives changed. Though, he had no idea.

  Cole closes the door behind me, leading us to the bed. He doesn’t waste any time, pressing his lips against mine forcefully. His hands wander beneath my dress, causing me to tense. Just get it over and done with, I beg of myself.

  “What’s wrong?” Cole pulls back. “Why don’t you want me to fuck you?”

  Another moment where I can tell him the truth just like all the other moments which presented themselves. But what’s the point? It’s over, and everything should go back to normal.

  He won’t care, or at least he’ll pretend to care, but none of it matters since it won’t change the outcome.

  “I’ve got a lot on my mind,” I half tell the truth.

  “Someone else is on your mind?”

  “Cole, there’s no one else. It’s only been you.”

  Unlike many girls in senior year, I’ve only been with one guy. I’ve kissed several boys, but none were worthy of going to the next base until Cole came along.

  “Yeah, well, you’re making me feel like shit,” he complains.

  I pull back, resting on my elbows. “Just because I don’t feel like fucking you?”

  Cole jumps off the bed, pacing with his hands running through his hair. His blue eyes watch me, almost as if I’m doing something wrong by not giving in to him tonight. He doesn’t understand. He’ll never understand.

  Suddenly, a piercing scream startles us both. It came from outside, so I run to the window to see what is happening. My eyes widen in shock as a body is dragged from the pool, unconscious.

  Without a second thought, I bolt out of the room, leaving Cole behind as adrenaline runs through my veins. The fresh air hits my face when I make it outside, but I rush to the scene.

  “Someone call 9-1-1!”

  People gather around the boy lying unconscious by the side of the pool. They uselessly stare in bewilderment, but no one does a damn thing. I push people aside, then fall to my knees to better examine him.

  I’d watched a YouTube video on how to perform CPR. One of those nights, I fell down a rabbit hole leading me to medical videos. I was fascinated with it all, unsure why but hoping it would stick.

&n
bsp; Remembering each step, I attempt to perform CPR. Thankfully, he has a pulse, but how long depends on what I do next.

  I hear the voice in my head repeating the steps. As people watch on, I begin with the chest compressions using my body weight and keeping my arms straight, then press straight down. Next, I release the pressure before giving mouth-to-mouth.

  “Alexa, what the fuck are you doing?” Cole questions angrily.

  “Paramedics will be here any minute.”

  Another minute and we might lose him.

  Don’t let this happen.

  I place one hand on his forehead and the other under his chin to tilt the head back so his airways open. Pinching the soft part of his nose so it closes, I open his mouth with my thumb and fingers.

  As I take a breath, Cole continues to yell at me, but I ignore him, placing my lips over the guy’s mouth and blowing steadily. When I pull back, a rough cough escapes his lips before he shuffles to his side and starts expelling water.

  “Alexa,” Mikayla cries, pressing on my shoulders. “You saved him!”

  Still on my knees, I sit back and watch as the guy opens his eyes, disoriented. The paramedics arrive, running through the crowd with their equipment. The noise fades out, the scene becoming a sudden blur.

  “You saved his life,” the paramedic praises as they continue to examine him. “Ever considered a career in medicine?”

  Cole deliberately raises his brows while cocking his head. “Dr. Edwards, just like Daddy.”

  His callous comment strikes a nerve with me. The memories come flashing back, the times I’d begged my older sisters to play hospital with me after I’d stolen Dad’s stethoscope from his office drawer.

  But I’d rather die than fall hostage to my father’s hopes and dreams for me.

  “I’m glad he’s alive,” I mutter beneath my breath. “I want to go home.”

  Cole crosses his arms in defiance. “Well, I want to stay.”

  I turn my back on him and ignore everyone as I make my way outside. Reaching for my purse, I open the Uber app, but it shows no one available. Just fucking great.

  Scrolling through my phone, I realize all my sisters flew out tonight to Cancun. There’s no chance in hell I’m calling my parents since I’m already in trouble given all Mom’s messages. I dial my cousin Luna’s number, and thankfully she picks up.

  Twenty minutes later, we’re on the way home.

  “Does Uncle Lex know you’re out this late on a school night?” Luna asks, pulling into my street.

  “I’ll deal with it tomorrow.”

  “Aren’t you afraid of being grounded?”

  I shrug. “Not really.”

  As we pull into the driveway, Luna leaves the car running. “You sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

  “I’m fine, thanks again.”

  With my purse in hand, I exit the car and take a deep breath. If all goes well, I can run up to my room so I’m not caught in this short yellow dress I borrowed from Ava.

  The second I step inside, I turn the light on to see my father. His presence in the darkness catches me by surprise, and his eyes turn angry upon noticing my dress.

  “Oh,” I mouth, avoiding eye contact.

  “Oh?” he repeats in a cold tone. “Is that the only response I’ll get from you, considering it’s two hours past your curfew, and it’s a school night?”

  Growing up as the youngest daughter of a well-known billionaire is not glamorous like everyone thinks it is.

  My father, Lex Edwards, controls everything our family does. My sisters may have moved out, but I’m the last one under his wrath.

  God forbid I do anything to disobey him. He demands respect, but I’m so over his controlling ways. I continue to ignore him, flicking my long hair over my shoulder in complete disregard for his authority.

  “Anything you’d like to say, Alexandra?”

  A puff of air leaves my lips as I roll my eyes in annoyance.

  “Let me guess. You’re calling me Alexandra, so I’m in big trouble? Assuming I’m grounded, you’ll take all my privileges off me because you are the controlling Lex Edwards.”

  His eyes widen as his nostrils flare. Lowering his gaze for a moment, he’s obviously trying to control himself because Mom told him to.

  “You’re damn right you’re grounded,” he shouts, slamming his fist on the counter. “How dare you worry your mother and me over your careless actions. You live in this house. You abide by our rules.”

  Of course, he has no sympathy. He has no idea what happened tonight, and even if I told him the truth, he’d find a way to turn it into all about his rules.

  “I’m over your rules!” I yell back, eyes blazing with fire. “I didn’t ask to be Lex Edwards’ daughter. This life was thrust upon me.”

  “This life?” He tilts his head in confusion. “A life of having a roof over your head, food on the table, and private schooling? I’m sorry. Please explain how awful it is for you to have what many children have to fight for.”

  If only he knew the truth.

  I drop my eyes to the floor. “You have no idea.”

  “No idea how spoiled you are? You have everything you want. Please, enlighten me. How terrible it is to grow up as our daughter?”

  Slowly, I lift my gaze to meet his matching emerald eyes. He waits for me to respond, but what is there to say?

  “I hate you.”

  And as quick as the words leave my mouth, I exit the kitchen and run up to my bedroom. Shutting the door behind me, I lean back against it as tears fall down my cheeks.

  It’s all his fault.

  I aborted Cole’s baby because of him.

  And now, I must live with this decision for the rest of my life.

  All because I carry the Edwards’ name.

  TWO

  It’s been weeks since the fight with my father.

  He’s sitting at the head of the patio table with Mom beside him. They both wait for me to talk since I’d called this meeting after my sisters and their families left.

  It’s now or never. I’m carrying the gasoline to throw on the already burning fire between us. I spread my hands out on the table, unable to look at either one of them. A small breath escapes me while I muster the courage to follow through with what I want for my life.

  Breathe … one … two … three.

  “I’ve decided not to go to college,” I state firmly.

  As expected, silence falls between us. I keep my eyes fixed on the centerpiece and avoid looking at my father. If it was possible to smell smoke coming out of someone’s ears, I’m smelling the burning smoke right now and choking on it.

  “Alexa,” Mom stammers, “I … I don’t understand where this is coming from?”

  “This is coming from someone who doesn’t want to go to college,” I respond matter-of-factly. “Just because my sisters went doesn’t mean I have to.”

  Mom stares in confusion. “So, what exactly will you be doing?”

  “I’ll be traveling around Europe.”

  “Then, when you’re done, say, in a year? You’re going to enroll?” Mom pushes.

  In slow motion, I raise my eyes to meet my father’s. The skin around his eyes tightens as his jaw sets. “No.”

  More silence, of course. No one defies Lex Edwards, yet here I am …

  “You have one year to travel,” he states in an arctic tone, his voice strangled while trying to control his temper. “Then, you will return and enroll in college.”

  I stand up in a rush, crossing my arms with a defiant stare. “You don’t get a say in my life anymore. I’m almost eighteen.”